apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
this hospital has no fireball
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
