I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
