I wanna bring you to show and tell
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
