he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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