the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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