you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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