its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
