i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
