Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
If I die, sorry about rent.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
