I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
