It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
