i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
