I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
