Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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