Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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