Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
