One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
