Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
