check it out our google latitudes are spooning
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
