Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
