they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm just crazy horny about you
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
