Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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