Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I love you.
Bad choice
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
