If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Randomize
