i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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