yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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