Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
