Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
