you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Dignity is for republicans.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
