At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Randomize
