Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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