Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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