I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
