people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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