so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
