sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
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