I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
