So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
