Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
