You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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