it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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