the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Randomize
