i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
he puts the penis in happiness.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Alive.
So much puke
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
