Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
My ass is underappreciated
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
