I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Randomize
