What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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