Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
