Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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