i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
