I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
someone get that fucking seahorse.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
we're so committed to being not committed
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
