apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
