shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Thank you for not boning my boss.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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